The first Sex In Words. Or: Standing Beside My Poo

I did something last night that scared the fuck out of me. And it was awesome.

I think of myself as a pretty shy person who sometimes does a good job of faking otherwise. I guess as you mature and gain experience with putting yourself out there in the world that gets easier to do. But inside I think I will always be the shy little high school girl with braces, a bit of a dreamer who liked to disappear for days into a great book and who occasionally penned her own little snippets, the best of which contained naughty words a “good girl” most definitely should not be accustomed to using in any such fashion.

Yes, I’ve had my share of shame over writing what I do. I blogged about it here. And last night I shared the fact that because of that shame, in my head I had been treating my writing the same way I would as if I had done a huge poo in the middle of a room. Run away! Deny responsibility! Feign innocence! If someone says, ‘That’s disgusting!’ agree and shake your head sadly.

I also shared coming across this post from Ashley Lister on Justine Elyot’s blog and how watching these authors read for an audience, for me in that moment, was like watching them … stand beside their poo. Proudly. Confidently. Without a moment of shame.

I was horrified.

And mesmerized.

And I could Not. Stop. Thinking about it.

I wanted to contact someone here in Adelaide and say, okay! Twist my arm. Sign me up. I’m game. I’ll give it a shot. But there was no such event. There is no Ashley Lister Down Under. So if I wanted to do this, if I wanted to have this experience, I would have to create it. And to do that, I would have to step WAY out of my comfort zone.

Hence the birth of Sex In Words. With the totally supportive and open-minded help of the team at Dymocks Adelaide I was able to put together an event for authors to showcase explicit scenes in their work for everyone to enjoy. And on top of that, thanks to our sponsors, Sweetmeats Press and Xcite Books, we were able to offer guests some great ebook swag! Yup, those in attendance can help themselves to 50% off downloads of Made For Hire and Sweet. Sweeter. And they can get Nymphomania for free! Now don't cha wish you joined us?? *

Angela Castle shared a fun and totally sexy shower scene from The Purrfect Picture, Book 2 of her Australian Shifter series. Kate Belle read an intense and thrilling moment from her tale of forbidden lust and love in The Yearning. And yes, I shared too. A fun little story called Spinning that will be published next year.

I stood beside my poo.

Okay, what I write is not poo. Well, maybe it is to some people… but it’s not to me! And I’m not thinking of it that way any longer. I should probably change the title of this blog post. But it’s kinda funny so I’m not going to.

But here’s something else. Another secret, while I’m laying all my cards out on the table. I went a little easy on myself last night. I figured since hosting an event and reading my work aloud are two totally new and scary experiences, I would give myself a break in choosing what to read. Now don’t get me wrong, Spinning is a great story, I’m really proud of it! It’s a style I’ve always wanted to try my hand at. But it’s not my typical fare. In fact, it’s the only story I’ve ever written without an ounce of kink.

It’s one scary experience to read about sex aloud. But, generally speaking, all adults have sex. Not all of them have kinky sex. And Spinning aside, that’s what I write about. Kink. BDSM. Dominance and submission. So hang onto your floggers, everyone, cause that’s where we’re going next. Don't have a flogger? We just may be able too hook you up. *gasp!* 

Oh yes, we have plans for the next Sex In Words! **

KC

*Okay, if you email me and ask nicely, I may just be persuaded to pass on the promo code for the free/discounted books. If you follow me on Twitter, I'll be even happier!

**You want a sneak peek of me reading some kinky stuff? Come to my book launch for the print version of Made For Hire, July 26th at the South Australian Writers Centre! Deets to follow...

Perceptions - Being Kay

Friends, I'm thrilled to welcome back to my blog today the beautiful and talented Kay Jaybee!

As I gear up for Sex In Words next week, it is wonderful to have Kay's thoughts on the ups and downs of writing erotica and to hear how she handles erotica readings. Take it away, Kay!

Under the pen name of Kay Jaybee, I’ve been writing erotica for almost eight years. From The Collector (Austin & Macauley), a linked anthology of short stories about a woman on a continuous quest for erotic adventure, to The Perfect Submissive (Xcite), my first full length BDSM novel, via my full-on kinky romance, Not Her Type: Erotic Adventures With A Delivery Man (1001 NightsPress), to the dark BDSM tale The Voyeur (Xcite), and my latest BDSM romance, Making Him Wait (Sweetmeats Press), with 6 other anthologies of my own, and over 70 short stories in between, I have covered virtually every angle of the erotica genre. And I have loved every single minute of it!

It never ceases to amaze me however, the way in which people react when I tell them what I do for a living. Granted, I don’t tell many people from my ‘real’ life what it is I am up to as I tap away at my laptop every day, but those that do know often – after the initial shock that someone as I shy as myself should write this stuff - look at bit, well, disappointed. My lack of fishnet stockings and skirts the width of a belt, just doesn’t fit the bill somehow.

I see them trying to disguise the fact that they are looking me up and down, digesting the reality that I am a very ordinary forty-something, in coffee stained jeans and a jumper. I’m average height, average weight, average shoe size, and (most shocking of all) I wear no makeup!!

The logic of it is bizarre if you think about it – if I wrote murder mysteries would they expect me to have a violent criminal record? If I wrote ghost stories, would they expect me to haunt the local graveyards and spookier parts of the area? Of course not- yet as someone who has found that her strength is in writing sexual acrobatics, I’m expected to appear as though I am about to seduce anybody who happens to be passing.  Naturally, I should have an emergency piece of rope in my pocket to tie up his or her wrists, and (as a writer of BDSM and S&M), there is obviously going to be a whip or paddle secreted in the bottom of my handbag at all times.

Attitudes are changing slowly- the snag is, many (and I know I am generalising), folk want to imagine us scribbling away about our own experiences, with one eye on the man we have bound to the bed, while planning what kinky things we’ll do to him after we’ve written the next paragraph... Let’s face it- the image adds to the fun!

I realised early on in my writing career that the only way to win this battle is to write the very best stories I possibly can, not take these perceptions seriously, and meet everyone’s expectations halfway. So, whenever I appear at readings at Sh! Women’s Store in London, or am doing publicity for any of my publishers, I pop on the mini skirt (not too short), the low cut top (but with a cardigan over the top!), the boots (not high heeled), stockings (not fishnet), and a smile that can only be described as suggestive.

This ‘dressing up as Kay’ really helps me to deliver my stories- for taking on her persona banishes the urge to run away before I read erotica out loud to total strangers!

Back in 2008 the wonderful erotica writer Jeremy Edwards described my life as having something of the Superman about it. Not that he was suggesting I could leap buildings in a single bound or anything. Jeremy told me he had this image of me dropping my children off at school, and then, as I walk towards the cafe where I always write, undergoing some sort of mental and physical transformation. He imagined me walking taller, my head higher, smiling knowingly at strangers- my personality almost totally changing, - as if I was entering a telephone box as Clark Kent and coming out a Superhero. The thing is; Jeremy is almost right. As Kay I do walk taller, and I am so much braver.

Over the past few years I have used the perception of what people have traditionally thought erotica writers should be like to my advantage; helping me to develop my alter-ego ‘Kay Jaybee.’  You could argue that by doing so I am making it harder for people’s attitudes to change towards us erotica types- but I do hope not. Dressing the part is like acting- it doesn’t stop me being happily married, or a mum, or an office worker- it just gives me the little bit of confidence I need to read my wares in public, and makes said public smile!!

Many thanks for inviting me here to chatter today Kyoko!

Kay xx

Thanks for being here, Kay! I will definitely being looking for alter-ego strength this Tuesday. If you missed my post about the difficulties of going public with writing erotica, check it out at Kay's place here. 

And here's where you can find more of Kay...
 

Kay Jaybee wrote the novels Making Him Wait, (Sweetmeats Press, 2012), The Voyeur (Xcite, 2012), The Perfect Submissive (Xcite 2012), as well as the novellas, Not Her Type: Erotic Adventures With A Delivery Man (2^nd ed. 1001 NightsPress, 2013), Digging Deep (Xcite, 2013), A Sticky Situation, (Xcite, 2012), and The Circus, (Sweetmeats Press). She has also written the anthologies The Collector (Austin & Macauley, 2012 & 2008), The Best of Kay Jaybee (Xcite, 2012), Tied to the Kitchen Sink, Equipment, (All Romance, 2012), Yes Ma’am (Xcite e-books, 2011), Quick Kink One and Quick Kink Two (Xcite e-books, 2010). Kay has had over 70 short stories published by Cleis Press, Black Lace, Mammoth, Xcite, Penguin, Seal, and Sweetmeats Press.

Details of Kay’s work, past, present and future can be found at www.kayjaybee.me.uk

You can follow Kay on Twitter- kay_jaybee, Facebook http://www.facebook.com/KayJaybeeAuthor Goodreads- http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/3541958-kay-jaybee and the Brit Babes Site- http://thebritbabes.blogspot.co.uk/

Kay also writes contemporary romance as Jenny Kane Twitter- @JennyKaneAuthor

Made For Hire Cover Reveal

Here it is, friends! The brand new cover for my story, Sweet. Sweeter. 

What do you think? Isn't it a big bundle of sexy awesomeness?!! I would love your comments!   

The print version of Made For Hire will be available to order July 15, 2013. However the digital version will be available on June 24, 2013. And guess what? For those attending Sex In Words which happens the very next day, you will find out how it can be yours for 50% off! So come on out and join us. And don't forget to RSVP to Dymocks!

Cheers,

KC

Lots happening

My, I do have trouble keeping things current here, don’t I? What are you going to do with me? I can only assure you, dear friends, that I have been a busy little smut peddler indeed. 

Last week I finished and submitted the third book in my Draper Estates Trilogy! Hurrah, and at long last! Now begins the nerve racking time where I sit around and wait for the verdict from my Xcite Books editor. Perhaps because this book is the conclusion of the trilogy I am more nervous than usual about it. I hope the editor shares my vision for how the characters evolve and where the story ends up. And I hope you will too! I will give you more news about publication as soon as I have it. 

I am eagerly anticipating publication of the new Sweetmeats Press anthology, Made For Hire, which will include my short story “Sweet. Sweeter.” and will be out at the end of this month! Friends, I am really proud of my contribution in this work. Although it’s a short story, at over 12 000 words it is at the longer end of the spectrum for me, so you are getting a lot of bang for your buck (both literally and figuratively). 

But don't take my word for it. Kojo Black, who compiled the anthology said, “I felt like I wanted to lick my fingers clean after I read it. It's sweet and sensual, dirty and rude, sexy and deeply sexual all at the same time.” What an endorsement! I have just seen the cover and it’s very dark, sexy, cool and understated. Love! Stay tuned for an exciting cover reveal! 

At the beginning of the month I was over at the charming and delightfully funny Ashley Lister’s blog talking about what a naughty, little smut writer I am… er, I mean, how to write erotic fiction. Check it out here. 

Next week, I’ll be over at the prolific and talented Kay Jaybee’s blog. There I will open up about some struggles I’ve had with writing about sex and what I’m doing about it (see Dymocks paragraph below). It’s an intensely personal post and I hope you’ll have a read and let me know your thoughts. I’m always interested in your comments! Stay tuned for the link. 

And best for last! I am thrilled (and by thrilled, I mean completely petrified) about my upcoming erotica reading event with Dymocks Adelaide on June 25th. Get all the details about it from their website here. 

Friends, I have never read my work aloud before, to say nothing about hosting an entire event like this! The extent of my public speaking experiences pretty much begins and ends with the two times I’ve served as matron of honour at weddings… and I had to be half in the bag just to manage my fear over those. I know I am the one who pushed to make this event happen but as the date looms closer and closer I’m pretty much freaking out and wondering what the heck I’ve gotten myself into. Are you in Adelaide and want to see whether I pull it off or crash and burn? Come on out! 

Seriously, the main reason to attend is to see two fabulously talented authors, Kate Belle and Angela Castle, who are coming all the way from Victoria to participate, read their work. And ha, I’m not the only one who’s nervous about reading sex scenes aloud! Check out what happened to Kate at her most recent event. Friends, it’s going to be hot, sexy, fabulous fun so come and join us! Remember to RSVP to Dymocks at the email address indicated in the link. 

That’s all for now, but come back soon to hear about my very first book launch coming up at the end of July… 

Love, 

KC

If Ranting Is What Works

If you’re a romance and/or erotica author with a Twitter feed that you’ve looked at more than once over the past couple of days then you’re likely to have seen people discussing some author moves that seem – when looked at with a skeptical eye and then passing that skeptical eye over to the Amazon rankings – a little suspect. The words ‘publicity stunt’ got tossed around and it’s hard to disagree with those voices. I won’t mention the authors here; I don’t know them, I’d never heard of them before this weekend, I’ve never read their books and I have no idea if the books are good, the voices are valid or what their motivations are. But for a new-ish author with a book she’s really proud of that’s doing alright but hardly burning it up the Kindle charts, it’s hard not to feel defeated.

I’d taken to Twitter and Facebook to say, can’t we just write good books, put them out there and hope for the best? But really, that answer is naïve. Every author knows that you have to do some degree of promotion and, unless you’re in the upper echelons of writer fame, that promotion falls almost entirely on the author’s own shoulders.

So no, an author cannot just write her book and hope for the best. She must promote it. But the question is how? How to promote? And it seems that at least two writers this weekend, either intentionally or not, have stumbled upon a good way. Put a rant up on a blog… and then watch the fallout ensue and your sales rise.

It is all well and good for me to stick my nose in the air, call myself an artiste and say I do it all for the sake of art and don’t care about the money. But first, I don’t know that I’d deign to call my work art. That seems really egotistical. I don’t know if it’s art, I just know I like it, that I strove to make it the best it could be and hoped others would find enjoyment from reading it. Second – and not to get too Les Mis on you – there are indeed children at home and the children have got to be fed. I’m not above a little hype if it’s gonna mean the hours I spent on my book are going to pay off.

But the truth is, I just can’t bring myself to fake something. And I’m not bashing those who did, if that was indeed their angle. It’s brilliance in its own way, if annoying to the rest of us. I am just really enjoying living my life as truthfully as possible. So I can’t.

Here’s my truth. I wrote a book. It’s called For Her Pleasure. It’s as dirty and depraved and funny and smutty and well edited and well written as I could possibly make it. I had a blast writing it. It was a total joy.

Should you buy it now because it will be gone tomorrow? No. Do I secretly hate you if you like it? Certainly not, quite the opposite.

Is this post going to stir things up in the blogosphere out there and boost my sales?? Probably not. But I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon… and give it a shot.

Words With Willsin

Hello all!

Through the wonders of social media, I've recently had the pleasure of getting to know the extremely charming and talented Mr Willsin Rowe. Willsin and I got to chatting about writing and as one of the few male erotica writers I know, I was really interested in his unique perspective. And I thought you might be too! So here is some of our conversation:

KC: So Willsin, you spoke recently about men being stereotypically visual creatures who lean more towards watching porn than reading about sex. And yet you are a man who not only reads it... you write it as well. What draws you to erotic fiction? What do you think reading about sex can bring someone that watching it cannot?

WR: Well, I'm certainly quite visual myself, of course. I'm still a dude. I'm definitely not averse to seeing images of beautiful bodies - male as well as female. If a bod is hot, it's hot. It doesn't need to be about sex.

But where bog-standard porn falls short for me is in its harshness. I like nothing more than characters who connect with each other before anything physical happens. The kinds of scenes where there's an internal gravity that draws the characters into each other until the only possible outcome intense and passionate love-making.

Now of course, that kind of thing can be achieved in a visual medium. It's just that movies most often fall short of that poignant beauty - at least for my tastes.

The other factor is that I've been in love with words, both as a reader and a writer, since I was six years old. So combining words with sex? That's just perfect!

KC: You are a kindred spirit! I agree with you on all fronts but particularly about being in love with words. More than that, I love when words fit together in a beautiful way and I love and feel intensely curious about the intricacies of sex. So yes, to combine words with sex, to describe a passionate sexual union in a detailed but melodious manner is my favourite writing thing to do!

WR: Mmm...the intricacies of sex. That's it in a nutshell! That's an enormous factor in why I choose to write erotic material.

Now, with romantic and erotic material, there's a tradition of strong and aloof male leads who gradually (and inevitably) open up for that one special lady. Men who dominate any room they enter, and the mere raise of an eyebrow evaporates every pair of panties in the place. Or some variation on that, anyway.

You, however, have written a story which turns that around: female domination. Women who command, men who obey. What is it about a powerful woman that clicks with you? And in turn, what makes a submissive man attractive?

KC: Ah yes, the aloof Dom. I get the allure, honestly, even if it’s cliché. It’s cliché for a

reason! It can be appealing. And to be honest, for most of my life I had indulged exclusively in submissive fantasies and my writing reflected that. So writing For Her Pleasure was a bit of a revelation. I didn’t know I could identify with a powerful Domme. What clicked with me? It was hugely freeing to write from a Domme perspective. In a lot of ways Mistress is opposite to my own nature so to step into her shoes – a woman who is completely self-assured, who is in complete control, who is totally comfortable giving orders and is always one step ahead – felt exciting and powerful and exhilarating. 

As for submissive men, this was another revelation to me. From an outside perspective it might seem that the attraction would be in having a man whom you can just order around to do whatever you want, to fulfill your every sexual whim or desire. That’s maybe partially it… but for me that’s not even half of the attraction. I think what’s important here is to make a distinction between ‘submissive’ and ‘weak.’ To me there is an ironic power in a man’s decision to submit to a woman. Most often our society seems to dictate that men should be in control. So for a man to – first of all, explore enough to realize he finds a sexual thrill in submitting – and then to indulge that desire, to me that is a man who is comfortable with his sexuality and his self-confidence, who understands himself and his passions and doesn’t care about what society dictates. That’s not weak. To me that’s brave and powerful and sexy.

But Willsin, you tell me, what do you like about powerful women? And what about submissive women? Do you have a preference for writing one or the other?

WR: Well, I find myself thinking about the whole nature of “power”. Throughout the history of literature (and, of course, the real world) there are stories of powerful men laid low by the love of women. Men who figuratively (and often literally) prostrate themselves – denigrate themselves, even – in front of the women they love. The whole “I’m not worthy” and “You’re too good for me” line of thinking. Of course, it’s debatable these days whether that’s natural behaviour or the result of watching too many romantic comedies.

It’s also debatable in those cases whether it’s the woman who has power over the man, or whether it’s the man’s own urges which lay him low.

But on to what I love about powerful women...

Firstly, with power comes at least the appearance of confidence. As a naturally reticent person, confidence has a great attraction to me. And its attraction comes in many forms. It could be the businesswoman in her mid-50s who has risen through the ranks on her own terms and without masculinising. It could be the size 16 woman who’s wearing figure-hugging lycra while she jogs down the street. Women who don’t take crap, who won’t play the victim, and who can admit their mistakes.

There’s a far more primal attraction to submissive women, though. There are evolutionary reasons why men are on average taller, heavier and stronger than women. And there’s a deep-down, primate part of a man’s brain that gets a real buzz from being the biggest, the fastest, the strongest. A submissive woman feeds that ancient animal. She tells him without words that he is in charge. He is the hunter and she is the cornered prey.

But I don’t specifically have a preference for writing one or the other. What really works for me is a strong combination of the two extremes, as Katie Salidas and I wrote in our “Consummate Therapy” series. Our heroine, Natasha Blakely, is an immensely powerful woman. A billionaire with her own empire, and with an addiction to coffee, cigarettes and pretty boy gigolos. Our Dom, Master Sweet, is charged with teaching her the value of submitting, of letting go of the reins sometimes, even if it’s only for an hour or two. Natasha’s internal struggle, and its outward manifestation of rebellion and pettiness, really clicked with me. And it was so much fun to write her in all her smart-mouthed bitchiness!

See what I mean, everyone? Willsin was so much fun to chat with. So much so that our chat didn't end there. Head on over to Willsin's blog here to see the rest of our convo. 

And guess what? The first book in Willsin's "Consummate Therapy" series is free right now! Click on the link and it can be heating up your ereader in mere moments. 

Of course my For Her Pleasure is still free in the UK and should also be free from Amazon US soon. You know I'll keep you posted.

Comments? You know where to put 'em. 

KC