It seems the issue of perspective comes up a lot in my writing.
In my upcoming novel, For Her Pleasure, Mistress is always reminding Paul that everything is a matter of perspective. I came across this article the other day and had to giggle. It is true that you should probably steer clear of saying any of these things - "You've never gotten me off," "Are you done already," "It could be bigger," etc. - in a vanilla relationship. But anyone who knows anything about the dynamics of a D/s relationship knows that what would never fly in any other situation, might be extremely erotic in the right context. I'm certain that Mistress would say many of things the person who compiled that list would consider as "never say" and not only would Paul not mind, they would make him crazy with lust.
Isn't it interesting how context, delivery ... and even love, can skew things?
So my friends, I guess what I'm saying is, it's fine to search online for little tips. But take things with a grain of salt. Nothing is ever finite. One size does not fit all. Know your partner. Create an atmosphere of non judgment, openness and love. Then...talk. Share. Explore. Experiment. Have fun!
And if you have no idea how saying "I'd rather use a toy" could ever drive any man crazy with lust ... Well, stay tuned. The book drops in 76 days!