Getting Ahead

I find the topic of sex endlessly fascinating. Hence my career choice. And oral sex in particular is just a fun conversation point. Don’t you think? Just me?

I like head. I think blowjobs are fun. Not just giving oral. I write a lot about receiving. Cunnilingus scenes are some of my favourites to read so a lot of my stories include enthusiastic tongue on clit action. With regard to oral sex, what people like, what they don’t and why is a subject I find really, really interesting.

So I wanted to write today about blowjobs. 

A reader once mentioned to me that blowjobs are like flowers for men. That certainly seems to be how things are portrayed in media, like face fucking is the holy grail of men’s sexual conquests, the thing they want most and never get enough of. But is this really the case?

I’ve heard elsewhere (during one of sex columnist Dan Savage’s podcasts) that in reality this is not so. Fellatio, Savage says, is just another sex act that some men love, others like, others could take or leave and still others would rather pass on. Just like some people would rather eat pizza than chocolate (me, for example), some men would rather have straight up intercourse than have their chrome polished.

I’m going to say something now that part of me wants to scream NO at! Are you ready? Here it is: Perhaps the issue is the majority of people don't like to give head. 

 

Is this true? That's a huge generalization, I know. I, for one, am an exception. But perhaps not liking sword swallowing is the norm… and to be expected. The pipe job is a pretty selfless act and generally people are selfish. While there is a vicarious thrill that some of us really get off on, there is no direct physical pleasure for the person slobbing the knob. So people are less likely to want to do this than do something that directly feels good.

It is human nature to want what we can't or don’t have. So if most women do not enjoy playing the skin flute then maybe it seems more illusive. And guys are going to want it more. It is one of the laws of supply and demand, right? If there are fewer instances of knob polishing around then the value of that act goes up. Maybe if all things were equal, if women inhaled the oyster as readily as they fucked, then most guys would prefer fucking. (Strictly speaking it does feel better, right? Vaginas don’t have teeth.) I failed economics though so I’m just talking out of my butt. Feel free to lambast me for my flawed interpretations of economics 101. 

 

I know. In most relationships it’s not so cut and dry. It’s not like you have to choose between one or the other. Maybe you get a little hum job before you get down to the straight up monkey love. Maybe you give a little and get a little in return … maybe at the same time. And all other permutations and computations. 

But guys, I want to hear from you. Just how much do you like the tongue job? And ladies, yay or nay? Fun or nasty or ho hum? Tweet, post, comment!

And yes, I did use a glossary of blowjob euphemisms to aid in writing this post. Even a smut peddler can use a little help now and again.