It seems the issue of perspective comes up a lot in my writing.
In my upcoming novel, For Her Pleasure, Mistress is always reminding Paul that everything is a matter of perspective. I came across this article the other day and had to giggle. It is true that you should probably steer clear of saying any of these things - "You've never gotten me off," "Are you done already," "It could be bigger," etc. - in a vanilla relationship. But anyone who knows anything about the dynamics of a D/s relationship knows that what would never fly in any other situation, might be extremely erotic in the right context. I'm certain that Mistress would say many of things the person who compiled that list would consider as "never say" and not only would Paul not mind, they would make him crazy with lust.
Isn't it interesting how context, delivery ... and even love, can skew things?
So my friends, I guess what I'm saying is, it's fine to search online for little tips. But take things with a grain of salt. Nothing is ever finite. One size does not fit all. Know your partner. Create an atmosphere of non judgment, openness and love. Then...talk. Share. Explore. Experiment. Have fun!
And if you have no idea how saying "I'd rather use a toy" could ever drive any man crazy with lust ... Well, stay tuned. The book drops in 76 days!
I'm very much a case of 'I'll try anything once'...More often than not its 'I'll try anything once too often' But thats another story.
ReplyDeleteOne of the best 'encounters' was when my ex girlfriend said that she didn't want sex tonight, but what she did want was to use her toy on herself and have me watch. That was a HUGE turn on for us both.
Nothing for me that night but my vivid imagination went NUTS with it.
Would I want to do that all the time? no. But every now and then. After saying that too much of anything gets boring after a while.
Moderation, people. Moderation.
Sounds like a good time, Kalamain! It also sounds like you just might like For Her Pleasure. Since Mistress does something very similar to Paul. ;)
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